dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize