you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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