No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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