Cold hands, warm shart.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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