Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
