Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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