I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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