he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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