I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
