Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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