terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
