I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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