Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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