she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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