is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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