New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
