By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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