I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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