You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
