Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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