chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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