i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
