So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
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would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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