He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
