she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My vagina just clenched in fear
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize