ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
