I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
