we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
