I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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