I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
