He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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