Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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