i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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