pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
