"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
