Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sorry about my life...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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