Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
