I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
