I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
