I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
