this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
