Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
