they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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