where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
