Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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