Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
