Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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