Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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