Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
