sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
