apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
