New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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