Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
