Are we in a gay sports bar?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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