he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
