I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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