TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
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I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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