Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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