Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
